The High Cost of Two Mothers--How Having Two Moms Affects Our Child's Financial, Physical and Emotional Security

I am married.  Regardless of what any state says or what anyone claims--my wife and I are married.  And, many of us have already claimed the right to be married. The key is whether the government recognizes the marriage and then offers the 1,138 benefits that the majority of folk are able to take for granted. 

To see these benefits head on over to

Further, the NY Times has an article on financial costs of NOT having these benefits (it's almost a half million dollars, fyi) at:

So, do we eventually say, sorry we can't help with college honey...we spent the money to make sure that if something happened to one of us the other wouldn't have to fight for the right to bury one of your moms, keep you and make decisions about your medical care and enroll you in elementary school...?  

Ohhhh, what we could do with even the conservative estimate of a little over 41,000!  (Pay off student loan debt, send our son to an awesome preschool, jump start a college fund, family vacations, give to fight poverty, hunger and homelessness...)

Off to go write a check to another organization lobbying for GLBT rights and protections...There goes the babysitter budget.  


Mary said…
It is so frustrating, and while I have no love of truly committed homophobes, at least they are making an informed decision to oppress us. The overwhelming ignorance of people who don't know and don't care (you had to adopt your own kid? you could be denied hospital visitation? you have to lie on your taxes?) gets me down. I'm trying to turn that all into some personal action-giving my money and my time and supporting our fellow travelers as they fight oppression.
Joy said…
Because of the vagaries of marriage law from state to state, regardless of who is listed on the birth certificate, same sex couples are advised to pursue a second parent adoption in order to provide their children with two legal parents. Only some states allow for second parent adoption. Ohio, for example, does not allow second parent adoption--so a child with two moms or dads in Ohio would not be allowed to have both of his or her parents legally. It, quite frankly, sucks and leaves children and families vulnerable.

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