Friday, March 29, 2013

The Clergy Mom Dance

Today is Good Friday,

And I am writing an Easter Sermon.

I want to be done with it while my son is at preschool.

It may be Holy Week,

But, he is only almost three,

And I won't be there for bedtime, for his nightly God blesses, again tonight

And again tomorrow.

And I don't want to be working on it when he is home later.

As he has noticed that mama is working more and more,

And so he tests and pushes and whines and wheedles.

Needing me to be mama, when I am a priest.  

And I wrestle with this dual calling, weighing the impact of the one on the other

Knowing that there is a line in the sand, somewhere, but I am not sure where.

I only know that if asked to cross, I will only do so if I can continue to hold that small hand in mine

And answer yes, when "I neeeeed you Mama" needs an answer of "yes".

This week has sometimes felt a bit 
like trying to shovel a snowdrift higher than my head with a very small shovel.
Doable, but hard.


1 comment:

countingchickens said...

I think this week (and the others like it) have invisible value to him. He can't articulate it (and wouldn't because he's three) but you are instilling passion, work ethics, and spirit in him. He's lucky!