And I am writing an Easter Sermon.
I want to be done with it while my son is at preschool.
It may be Holy Week,
But, he is only almost three,
And I won't be there for bedtime, for his nightly God blesses, again tonight
And again tomorrow.
And I don't want to be working on it when he is home later.
As he has noticed that mama is working more and more,
And so he tests and pushes and whines and wheedles.
Needing me to be mama, when I am a priest.
And I wrestle with this dual calling, weighing the impact of the one on the other
Knowing that there is a line in the sand, somewhere, but I am not sure where.
I only know that if asked to cross, I will only do so if I can continue to hold that small hand in mine
And answer yes, when "I neeeeed you Mama" needs an answer of "yes".
This week has sometimes felt a bit
like trying to shovel a snowdrift higher than my head with a very small shovel.
Doable, but hard.