"As God Intended" A Post in Which I Get Sucked into the Vortex


Recently, a friend posted on facebook her deep sorrow about the “vote yes” adds.  She noted that the adds not only attack same sex couples but all relationships in which the couple does not have children for whatever reason.  In response one of her “friends” indicated that because gay and lesbian folk cannot have children “as God intended” that this is clear indication that same sex couples should not be allowed the right of marriage.  In response (yes, I got sucked into the vortex) I wrote: 

“My wife and I have beautiful son who we truly believe is a gift from God. When we say our "God Blesses" at bedtime with him he gives thanks for "Mama, Mommy and Ay-Ay" (His name isn't Ay-Ay, it's just what he calls himself!) We clearly had help in his conception--the same kind of help our straight friends who have twins got (and at the same fertility clinic). Many couples can't have children "as God intended"--in fact neither could Abraham and Sarah, that's why Abraham bore Ishmael with Hagar prior to the conception of Isaac. Isaac was clearly a product of divine intervention, as was Jesus--perhaps assisted reproduction can be viewed in the same way as folks who are unable to conceive on their own? I love the notion that God gives God's blessing in the form of this assistance.”  

The friend’s response--Jesus had a mom and a dad “as God intended”.  Now, I do not presume to know God’s intentions.  I can guess at them, and I have settled on choosing to respond with the most loving response I can--in trust that the most loving response will most accurately reflect God’s will.  In conjunction with this, the moral compass for most of my decision making, I also work hard to honor the baptismal covenant command to “honor the dignity of every human being”.  Therefore, my response:

"I think one of the issues is that the process we're in relies on dehumanizing people who don't fit in a a very specific "box". Every movement that has tried to institutionalize bigotry in one form or another (or has state sanctioned oppression) relies on this process of dehumanization in order to justify denying rights/opportunities/and basic dignity to the non-dominant group. From the various flavors of racism (slaves weren't allowed to be married and only counted as a portion of a person in census counts--when you read older writing it was not at all unusual to compare blacks to animals quite literally) to anti-semitism (the language used about Jews was pretty horrific, and once again you get the animal motif) to misogyny in which words like "bitch" or "cow" or "dog" are used to describe women...treating HUMAN beings as if they are not worthy of dignity/justice/rights because they are somehow less than human has been a way of circumventing the language of the United States Constitution; basic human rights and even our own baptismal covenant. 

Within the religious context, if someone is presumably not fully human because they are not "as God intended" it becomes easier for folks who embrace the label "Christian: to participate in the bullying, attacking and intentional destruction of mind/body and spirit. 

Heterosexual individuals who cannot or choose not to have children are getting some of the fallout from the process we are currently in and I am so very sorry that [altered here to protect the innocent] folks are experiencing being collateral damage. I am also so very sorry that we are even having this conversation--largely because it hurts my heart, o so very much, on several levels. As a mom, as a partner, as a devout Christian...this is a very hard time. But, regardless of how folks seek to deny my full humanity--whether it is through disparaging remarks about "Christians" or using scripture to justify denying my sweet little boy legal protection should something happen to his moms--I will continue to claim God's blessing. 

Because, it is God's blessing that strengthens me in this process and allows me to cling to the truth of God's love for all human beings. I will also continue to bless--bless single men and women (by choice or chance) families with children and without, heterosexual families, glbt families, folks of all races and creeds, folks of all sizes and shapes, the old and the young. I bless and will bless."

Because it is the most loving thing to do.  

Love, be loved, and please...Vote No (if you live in MN!)

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