Friday, February 10, 2012

Worries

As described in my last post, there is an amendment to the state constitution being voted on next November that would (if passed) expressly forbid same sex marriage (which isn't legal here, nor would it be legal if the amendment didn't pass) in the state of Minnesota.

The fact that this is up for vote makes me indescribably sad, particularly of late.  Because, what I hadn't considered (as a mom of an almost (gasp!) two year old) is that for GLBT families in Minnesota with older children there is going to be a LOT of explaining to do.

How do you explain to a 7 year old why your family is being attacked on television?  How do you give a middle schooler strength to not only stand up to remarks that denigrate his/her family but also the words to advocate for themselves as well?  How do you help your 3 or 4 year old understand that just because his friend at preschool said "you can't have two moms" that he most certainly can (and does)?

We don't watch television at our house (and before you go thinking that we are all high and mighty about this one, we have netflix and and our entire family is mildly addicted to "Kipper"--crap, the theme song is stuck in my head...again) and we only do NPR in the car (and I'm hoping that my darling boy did not comprehend the BBC report on the strife in Syria).  So, exposure in our house will be relatively minimal.  But, I know we are relatively unusual in this--and my heart breaks knowing the visual and auditory assaults that will be afflicting families (of all sorts) in our state.

The fact that so many of us are gearing up to be emotionally assaulted in the months to come, the fact that so many are giving up evenings and days with their children to advocate against this amendment, the fact that in order to protect our own children we have to jump through the hoops and pay the price of lawyers to give us the rights that straight (appearing) families have just by virtue of a marriage license...all of these things are stressors for GLBT families.  And, it's hard.  And, it's sad. And, it's not fair.  And...

It sucks.

Because, at the end of the day, in our house--we REALLY care about children.  And, as I read the words of parents already seeking ways in which to cushion their children from attacks on their families, I am devastated that children are going to be harmed as we adults try (and fail) to treat each other with love, compassion and dignity.



Thank God he's still young enough to be shielded from the hate...


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