The best and hardest of 2010


This is not a "best and worst" of post. Rather it is the best and the hardest--because I realize the benefits of much of the hard stuff in this year of monumental firsts and the hard things are by no means bad things (unless you count the sleep deprivation ;)

Best moments:

Positive pregnancy test
Getting into the second trimester
The first "real" contraction
Pushing
The baby's first time in my arms
nursing, 13857983759365 times
First smiles
First laughs
Watching our son become his own person
Becoming moms, together
Watching other people fall in love with our son
Wearing our baby in carriers, "close enough to kiss"
Realizing that the smacking noise the baby loves to make with his lips is his version of the kisses he always gets
The sense of closeness I now feel to the "BVM" (Blessed Virgin Mary)

Hardest moments

Fear of loss throughout my pregnancy
The sleep deprivation
Resuming work
Having to pump in churches with NO privacy or having to leave mid-mtg to pump
Going through major body transitions with a sense that so many were watching
Feeling isolated
Being forced to become more disciplined in my preaching (sleep deprivation and extemporaneous preaching don't mix!)
The enforced prayer time of the nursing mama
nursing, 13857983759365 times

All of that said...2010 was filled with so many blessings. And, I leave the year with a poem (yes, I wrote it. No, I did not get into the creative writing class I wanted to take in college because the professor did not think my poetry good enough--so keep that in mind as you read ;)

Birthing Amongst Women

Mary, mother of God,
While I screamed
You comforted
While I waited
You watched

The first suckle
As two bodies met
Was within your arms
Cradled together
Women and their son.

Grace became you
A slippery,
Floppy creature
Lion's roaring into our arms
Witnessed

A love unimagined.

Comments

nuevacantora said…
Hey! I saw your comment on the article I posted at Fidelias Sisters about taking the babies to work. I wasn't sure where to post an answer, but then I found your blog, yay!

Honestly, we're spoiled in the childcare world, since my spouse's job is extremely flexible, and I work part-time. But my kidlet goes to daycare 2 days a week, and I cram as much as I can into those two days. Her center also lets us do "drop-in days" - they're planned in advance, but they'll just charge hourly for extra days on occasion.

I've also been surprised at how people are willing to move move-able things - we moved one of my monthly meetings to an afternoon when my daughter is at daycare, because it turned out we could all make that happen.

The emergencies are the things I haven't quite figured out - but I'm also a part-time assitant, so there are very few emergencies I need to take care of.

Happy to "meet" you!!
Joy said…
Nice to "meet" you as well! I'm always curious about how other clergy moms do the juggle! Thanks muchly!

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